Art is my compulsion, it is my obsession, it’s my everything. Wielding a paint brush like a weapon, I’m forcefully making space for the uncomfortable conversations. Sitting in the discomfort of vulnerability I share my struggles with mental health disorders.

Mental illness and its connection with creation is something that I’ve always wondered about. It is a pattern I’ve noticed amongst the greats, my peers, and even through myself. Being bipolar shapes, challenges, and influences everything I am or do. Regularly becoming a different person really forces you into difficult spaces. Instead of suffering in silence I’m choosing to explore all the nuances of my fractured psyche as a sort of therapy. Harnessing my sorrows and following the fear. 

While in a depressive episode I began painting as though it was my dairy. Spilling out all the venom onto a canvas. Creating dreamscapes of the internal experience of bipolar. Extreme moments of bliss and confidence with a sharp juxtaposition of a gut wrenching heaviness that sucks all of the life out of my being. Every element represents the highs and the lows with a brief moment in between that allows for tranquility. These main different dimensions are phantasmal, grim, and interlude. Phantasmal is my state of mania. Expressed through bright colours, rays of sun, and shrinking dot work. The Grim is the depressive episodes deep colours, sharp drips, and echoing dot work that translates the dread in this realm. And finally Interlude, represented with the clouds. This is where I have clarity, a moment of calm amongst the chaos. Then there are two mixed states, Rapture and Decay. These places are my mental limbo, transitions in the inbetween. But colour is the context of the emotion within my work, it's the map that can always be relied on. Rapture is the progression from a low to a high. The slow climb from Grim to Phantasmal. The second metamorphosis is high to low, Decay. Decay is the slow painful rot from Phantasmal to Grim. Lastly there is also a small mark within each piece that is hidden amongst all the mayhem that symbolizes me. This character is called vim. 

By documenting my ever changing mental state through dreamscapes instead of struggling in silence I hope that sharing myself so valuably and baring my wounds will inspire others. I want to create not only a safe space to discuss these things openly but also create sanctuary for those who often long to be seen and accepted without judgment. Art has given me so much. Art has saved me many times and I would like to return the favor.